Thanksgiving - Day 09
Saturday, November 26, 2005

Narrative

We spent today in Hopewell, VA visiting a friend. We also went to south west Richmond, VA to visit friends and eat left over turkey sandwiches. Yum!

We'll be driving to Aiken tomorrow.

Thought For The Day

From Denise in IN

Seven more thoughts that make you go hummmmm?

  1. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
  2. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
  3. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
    And... if a racecar driver is called a racer, why isn't a pianist called a pianoer?
  4. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
  5. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
  6. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
  7. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

Joke Of The Day

From Terry in SC:

Actual Notes From Doctors' Patient Charts...

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male. Mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused an autopsy.

9. The patient has no past history of suicides.

10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. She is numb from her toes down.

15. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

16. The skin was moist and dry.

17. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

18. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

19. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

20. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

21. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

22. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

23. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

24. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

25. The patient was to have a bowel re-section. However, he took a job as a lawyer instead.

26. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

27. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

28. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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